I never intended to be at this job in 2010. I was convinced that my returning to work after LoveBug was born would only be a temporary thing. In fact, last month I received a reminder phone call that my annual physical was scheduled for the next day at 10am-- during the middle of the week. When I made that appointment (when LoveBug was 5 weeks old and I hadn't returned to work yet), I never thought I wouldn't be able to make a middle-of-the-day appointment come a year later. The realization of this hit me in the gut when I answered my phone in December, only to tell the receptionist that I would be unable to keep the appointment and would have to get back to them about rescheduling. I haven't called back since.
While I nursed LoveBug this morning, I asked her if she wanted to go to Mimi's house today. She's normally all excited to go to her grandmother's who watches her during the week, but today, she shook her head "no." I reminded her of how fun it is at Mimi's, and how she would have to go because I had to go to work. Again, I asked her if she wanted to go to Mimi's, and again, she shook her head. This time, though, she pointed to me, as well, saying, "no mom, I want to stay with you." Heart crusher!
So here I am, at my desk. I need to change all of my calendars today, cancel orders that haven't been shipped yet (no money to pay with now that it's a new year and new budget), and try to stay awake. I already did my morning routine of checking all of the job listings in the area to see of my husband qualifies for any of them (it's always either over qualified or not enough experience), checking my email, and reading through any potentially interesting Facebook comments.
When I'm feeling bummed or like I need to rest but "there's too much to do," my husband tells me to make lists because it always makes me feel productive. So today, the first monday of 2010, I will make a list.
1) Be healthier. I will figure out how to incorporate exercise into my ridiculously full day, working around my desire to climb into bed. I will also drink more water, and eat more veggies. Maybe a Body-During-Baby contest, like Samantha's Body-After-Baby over at http://www.mamanotes.com/? More on this idea to come...when I have time...
2) Read my Bible on a daily basis. Even if it's just a verse at a time. I used to do this without fail, and my wellbeing certainly reflected that. Then I began dating my husband and I was on the phone at night instead of reading. Hmmm...
3) Organize my house. Every nook and cranny! Since this is a common problem for a lot of us, I've been devising a plan to host a blogosphere Organize-My-Home event...I'm thinking a 6-week journey that will take participants into a whole new house of order and peace!
4) Make a budget. This will involve forcing my husband to stick to it, so we'll see.
5) Create a successful business that gets me back home where I belong! It can't hurt to try, right?