Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Why We Should Be Shocked At Ourselves, Not Miley Cyrus

The morning after the Video Music Awards (VMA) 2013, my Facebook news feed blew up with statuses about Miley Cyrus and how all of us can feel like better parents now after seeing "that performance." I read simple sentences referring to vomit, saw photos of the shocked faces of other patrons who attended the VMA and heard references to Miley and strip poles. Not to mention the photos comparing Miley's rear end that was hanging out of way too short lingerie type shorts to that of a naked, uncooked chicken bottom and legs (makes me want to run right out and buy a chicken for dinner!).

I didn't watch the Awards. In fact, I was too busy living life to even know it was happening. But eventually (after the chicken photo), I looked up YouTube to see what this controversy was all about. What I saw was a bunch of weird, dancing teddy bears, with people doing very electronic, weird dancing, and then a display that involved dry humping and clearly sexual maneuvers involving a man and a woman (girl?) (honestly, pretty gross). I have no idea what the words to the song were, and the video wasn't even a very clear picture. What was clear, is that I had just wasted six minutes of my life watching this.

Here's the part that might shock you: I wasn't shocked. I saw a very shocked reaction by both people I know and supposedly also the media. I've seen a lot of hate messages. I've also seen a bunch of "poor Miley" messages. My thought, is that we shouldn't be shocked or have pity for Miley, we should be shocked and have pity for ourselves.

Has no one been listening to music or paying attention to anything for the last ten years? Why is everyone outraged at Miley's "performance" when you didn't notice everything else going on? Poor us, for not calling radio stations when Pumped Up Kicks started playing, singing about kids murdering kids in schools. Is it only the First Responders who have been to school shootings who should think that a song which normalizes such behavior is not ok? Poor us, for not turning off the television when Eminem and Rihanna's "I Love The Way You Lie" song came on, displaying a perfect cycle of domestic violence. Did you not know that your teenager knows all of the words to that song? Is it only those who have witnessed or lived through, or had a family member killed by domestic violence, who should think that a song which romanticizes a relationship like that is NOT something that should be allowed anywhere?

Why NOW, are we saying that this is a problem? Why now, when this garbage has been going on for a long time? And why are we calling Miley a slut but nothing is mentioned about the man who was dancing with her? Does it not go both ways? Has this not been coming, and already been around, for a long time now?

Here's what I think: both my daughter and my son are important enough for me to turn off the radio, turn off the TV, and give explanation of why we act and don't act in certain ways. They're important enough that they know that respect goes both ways in friendships, relationships, and in demanding respect for themselves. It's not about "not" grinding on someone or "not" wearing short skirts. It's about knowing that we brush our hair and we don't wear pajamas all day long because we want to show respect for ourselves. It's about NOT allowing violent, inappropriately sexualized, or unhealthy behaviors or relationships to become "normal" in the eyes of myself or my children. It's about not waiting until the frog dies on the stove to get it out of the pot that is slowly heating up.

It's not "poor Miley". It's poor us. It's time to take a stand on the not-so-little things that are easy to ignore. Not supporting the television, radio, or other media statistics for viewing these things (remember, statistics drives the media). Calling radio stations out for playing songs with messages that normalize dangerous things. Paying attention to what our kids, and ourselves, are absorbing. Not being afraid to be "that mom" who says no to watching certain movies or who doesn't let your 10-year-old wear makeup. Not being afraid to be "that wife" (or "that husband") who says no to having any sort of pornography in the house.

I've seen the other side of this sexual disrespecting-ourselves mess that starts because a behavior somehow, somewhere, became "normal". The other side looks like me getting up during the middle of the night to pick up a homeless woman who begins crying in my ambulance because she had sex with two different men in one night in order to get alcohol, or because she didn't know how to say no. Or maybe, she didn't know that she could say no. And as I tried to clean her with cold water and towels, scrubbing off the layers of dirt, drugs, and alcohol vomit, she cried. You know what? Somehow, somewhere, she was once someone's baby girl, too. And you know what else? After she gets warm and fed and sleeps, it'll only be a matter of time before I wake up in the middle of the night to do this again.

Wake up, people. It's time to take a stand instead of wait to be shocked.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Tips for Being Productive At Home

One thing that many moms struggle with is utilizing their time while at home. This doesn't just apply to stay at home moms, either! Often, we know that this is a problem but we don't know where to even begin in a way that will actually improve the situation. Fortunately, you can improve your own productivity and thus reduce your stress by staying focused on a few simple things that will make a big impact on yoru day. Print these out and post them where you can easily see them throughout the day.

Before doing anything else, ask yourself this question to see if you should even include what you're doing in your schedule:
Does this benefit myself or my family? Does this harm anyone? Am I intrinsically fulfilled by doing this? Does doing this in the way that I am and the amount of time I spend on it a true reflection of what I value and who I want to be?
Once you have established how you should approach the actions that make up your day by answering the above questions, then you can begin to apply the following rules to help yourself be more productive.
  • Set a limit on your screen time. This means Facebook, Blogging, TV watching, texting, surfing the web, and checking email. Don't trick yourself by thinking that your searching for deals online is exempt from this rule! What used to be chatting on the phone for our own moms when they were raising us has now become playing games on our smart phones and getting into debates on Facebook, or even gossiping in online message board forums for us. Find a number that is reasonable (whether 20 minutes or an hour), and stick to it. Get a timer!
  • Make a menu. These are easy to do, don't take a ton of time, and can be saved to reuse in the following weeks or months. You can make these weekly or monthly, and you'll find that it'll reduce your grocery bill, the amount of food you waste, and make you feel way more on top of your home management!
  • Rest. It's important to find time to rejuvinate yourself, whether it's by getting a good night's sleep, reading a book, working out, or meditating. This will not only improve your mood, but also your productivity!
  • Make a chore schedule. Include who's laundry gets done on what days (don't forget towels, sheets, and diapers!), the "daily" chores like sweeping and dishes, as well as the "monthly" chores like mopping and scrubbing the bathtub. Even better, put checkboxes on it so you can track and be motivated by your accomplishments. Include your children on this chore chart to help instill a good work ethic and family responsibility within them.
  • Target your weakness. Do you find yourself watching TV too much during the day? Did you ever stop to think that it might be because you're lonely and lacking stimulating conversation? Try listening to a book on CD while you're folding laundry instead. By looking at the reason behind the behavior that you want to change, you may be able to find an alternative and thus eliminate the problem altogether.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

DIY: "The Very Hungry Caterpillar Day" activities & inspiration

I realize I'm getting this out just in the nick of time, so if you can't get everything ready for tomorrow, the first day of Spring, when The Very Hungry Caterpillar Day official occurs, plan to celebrate this weekend! You might be surprised though, how many things you already have around your house that you can throw together for a momentous day tomorrow.

Create your own line of snacks that are as close to the food in the book as possible. Use a straw to poke holes in the food. Don't forget your lettuce leaf at the end! Source: The Masked Mommy

You can also recreate pictures from the book using healthy food! Source: It's Our Long Story

Sensory Tub
Throw in anything related to the book that you can find, and maybe a few other things to fill in that theme along colors or textures, too! The items included in the one shown below are dyed green rice, colored large bottle tops, colored craft sticks, cardboard tubes with shiny tape wrapped around for pouring, neon plastic shot glasses for scooping, coloured cotton reels, coloured pom poms, wooden fruit, cakes, ice creams and other food items from the story, a few real clementines for a real sensory experience, a Very Hungry Caterpillar butterfly toy (a caterpillar would be a fabulous addition too!), and a copy of the book. Source: The Inspiration Tree

DIY Felt Book
I found this unbelievably adorable and FREE felt book instructions so your little one can have a quiet book experience of The Very Hungry Caterpillar! Included are printable templates for you to follow when cutting your felt. Source: Lavender's Blue Designs

Target: small motor, colors, sequencing, math.
Instructions: Cut out 1 apple, 2 pears, 3 plums, 4 strawberries and 5 oranges out of felt. I hand drew my own stencils out of cardstock, but you can also use stencils or find free clip art online to help you with the shapes. Punch a hole through the center of each felt fruit. As you read The Very Hungry Caterpillar, have your child lace the felt fruit onto the green “caterpillar” pipe cleaner in order of them appearing in the book. Review the colors of the fruit with your child. Source: See Vanessa Craft

Target: Listening/word assimilation, motor skills, object recognition.
Instructions: Print and cut out the printables in the link (click on photo). Glue to sticks of some sort, and allow your child to choose the correct object to hold up when you get to that point in the story. You can create a story board with this by having foam blocks or an upside down egg carton for your child to stick the sticks into when you get to that point in the story, creating a visual timeline of the story when done.
Printables are from: Make It Cozee

Target: motor skills, colors, math, science
Instructions: Create a butterfly life cycle. First, look at photos/pictures of a butterfly life cycle (easy to find online), and then make your own by drawing, gluing pictures to a plate and adding arrows, or making a 3-D one like the photo below. Directions for making the one below can be found at: Classified: Mom

For a huge, and I mean HUGE supply of printables, games (dominos, bingo, snakes & ladders, etc. all with "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" theme), activities, booklets, and MORE, visit English Teaching Worksheets!