Dear Mom Like Me

Dear mom who is run down, looks like a hot mess, feels like she can't remember who she is, is sure she is failing, feels guilty because she is secretly angry inside, is convinced her life is a hamster wheel, but somehow loves being with these amazing little people even more than she is frustrated by all of the "other" things that come along with them:

You know that you're enough, so I'm not going to tell you that. You know that this too shall pass, and you probably feel like you have no right to even tell anyone how you're feeling because you don't want someone to be confused and think that you aren't grateful for your children or that by feeling this way that you somehow take your children or your moments with them for granted.

I know you don't take the kids for granted. I know you don't take the moments for granted. I know you are grateful. But I also know that you miss yourself. I know that you struggle with being depressed and happy at the same time and man, it's so confusing. I know that you want to scream at doing 400 dishes a day, that Mt. Laundry might as well be called Mt. Never Ending Treadmill and that you just wish you could be a "normal" person (i.e. showering more than once a week) again.

Dear mama, this is what you need to know. This is what I need to know. And this is what we need to remember, and remind each other of daily:

• Your children think you're beautiful.
• No one else knows how messy your house is.
• Your kids don't care how messy your house is. (oh, the irony)
• If you're like me, you just can't accept the fact that your house is going to be messy while you have young children. Instead, work on accepting the fact that you're just going to feel crappy about how the house is while you have you have young children.
• You still have the same smile that your husband fell in love with.
• You can own your new "mom" identity. 
• You don't have to let go of who you used to be. Just because you haven't ran a marathon in 2 years, played piano in 6 months, aced a college exam in 10 years, or learned a new skill that didn't involve your offspring in...a long time..., doesn't mean that those things aren't still a part of who you are. There are seasons, and just because the corn isn't being harvested now, doesn't mean it isn't growing or that it won't be planted again. And if you decide to grow squash next time instead of corn, it's ok. Your entire life makes up you, not just the present.
• It's ok to rest. 
• It's ok to have a bad day.
• It's ok to love and hate what you're doing, where you're at, and to be frustrated by the fact that you can't change it.
• And it's ok to admit that none of these things mean that you don't love your kids more than all the other moms in the world. In fact, they have no effect on the fact that you are a rockstar mom or that your kids are going to grow up, call you blessed, and talk about the awesome memories they have of childhood--because they are going to have them. 

Maybe motherhood of young children is like childbirth; it's excruciatingly difficult at moments, but after it's done, you somehow become oblivious to the difficulties you went through and just remember the amazingness of it instead. Because let's face it, it is amazing hearing a person read for the first time. To see them discover their toes. To hear them say "I love you". The fact that we know what our baby needs by the way she cries. To be the one he needs in the middle of the night. That they want to tell us EVERYTHING. That is amazing.

And you, mama, are amazing, too. Keep your eyes above the waves. You're gonna make it, and you're gonna do great.

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How Understanding Learning Styles Can Help Your Children

We all know that individuals learn differently -- some remember best the material that they hear, while others remember what they see better. Some people need to experience something hands on in order to do it, while others need to just read the directions. These needs within us are shaped both by our experiences and our biological make up. Learning styles go beyond memory style and learning preference, though. In fact, there are a LOT of things that go into making the learning environment around your child (or yourself) as successful as possible! An article published in California Journal of Science Education, Survey of Research on Learning Styles, says that learning styles are "as individual as a signature" and that understanding them can give us the ability to set up a learning environment designed exactly as a student needs. You can read the article (and the Journal it's from, which is pretty interesting!) at http://marric.us/files/CSTA_learnjournal.pdf#page=76

According to these authors, here are the things that make up a child's learning style:

1.  Right or Left Brain Hemisphere Dominance. This information will give you an idea about the structure, independence, group/individual needs, background noise/activity, if they'll be motivated by peers or adults, and even optimal lighting for the learning environment.
2. Age and Gender. Considering these things will help you figure out lighting, mobility needs, and sound needs. For instance, the need for sound is stronger for younger children, who also need less light (the need for light increases with age). And as I'm sure you already figured, boys need to move while learning more than girls do!
3. Perceptual Preferences. According to the Institute of Learning, "Perceptual learning styles are the means by which learners extract information from their surroundings through the use of their five senses."  The different preferences (with links so you can learn more) are: 

   Print - refers to seeing printed or written words. Aural - refers to listening.  Haptic - refers to the sense of touch or grasp. Interactive - refers to verbalization.

   Kinesthetic - refers to whole body movement. Olfactory - refers to sense of smell and taste. Visual - refers to seeing visual depictions such as pictures and graphs.

   
   Studies have shown that in order to score the highest on evaluations of learning, the child should first be presented with the material in his or her perceptual preference, then that material should be reinforced by their secondary or tertiary preference (. So for example, my son is very visual. I might show him a video of a Magic School bus episode or a picture book about germs first, then I might reinforce that lesson by doing a hands on germ experiment (to meet his secondary preference for kinesthetic), and end by him listening to a song about germs (aural).
4. Social Preference. In general, small groups are best for young students (as opposed to them doing work on their own without teacher involvement), heavy social learning in Jr. High, and then tapering off to do work independently and without as much teacher involvement in High School. This can all be affected by the student, though, so remember that your child is an individual and watch (and ask) to see how he or she learns best among peers and with/without a teacher!
5. Time of Day. Is your child a morning, afternoon, or evening person? IOWA achievement test scores were significantly higher in the research when children were administered the test during the time of day that matched them best! I can vouch for this personally as I know my daughter does best with her most challenging subjects (her reading to me) in the morning, but then listens the best in the evening (if I'm reading to her).
6. Mobility Needs. (I'm going to paraphrase from the article here). A bunch of kids were sent to psychologists for hyperactivity assessments. What did the psychologists say? That the kids were just "normal kids" with higher mobility needs--they were not actually hyperactive. Furthermore, the research found that the typical classroom environment was actually HURTING the education of the high mobility needs of (mainly) boys. Yikes! So instead of running to medication or discipline, consider the possibility that your boy might just be a boy and might just need to run around. 
   

Put it all together, and you'll have a really clear picture of what your child needs in order to learn and succeed the best! Learning styles are more than just being partial to sight, sound, or hands on. How do you think you learn best, and how do you think your kids learn best after reading this post?

Goodnight Moon Lullabye Song (listen for FREE!)

Renowned Grammy-award winning composer and conductor, Eric Whitacre, has created a beautiful rendition of the childhood storybook classic “Goodnight Moon” into a Phantom Of The Opera style lullaby. The music breathes of elegance and sophistication while enchanting the listener with an uncluttered melody line and a robust string accompaniment. This song is so much better than the common children's music on the market today. As a private music instructor and having been trained in the Music Together early childhood music curriculum and theories, I tell you from the voice of research that it is very important for your child's musical development to listen to music in a variety of styles, keys, modes, time signatures, etc.. This song meets a lot of criteria for stimulating positive brain activity and musical development and I would definitely turn up the computer and let this song play in the background of your day. :)

Take a listen at http://heargoodnightmoon.com to stream it for free!

(I received no compensation or even acknowledgement for this review and the opinion is certainly all mine)

Sensory Christmas Basket Centerpiece (A Simple Christmas Project #3)

With small children in the home comes small changes in decorating for the holidays. Glass ornaments get put up higher, trees get anchored to a wall, and good linen might be removed from the table during a particularly stainable meal. Instead of removing your dining table's centerpiece altogether, though, why not make it into something that is festive, interesting, kid friendly, and encourages exploration and development, too!

This year, I created a Sensory Christmas Basket Centerpiece for our dining room table. It's a white wicker basket lined with a red and green dish towel. Laid inside are a host of objects all signifying Christmas time. Cinnamon sticks and scented pinecones create the base for this piece, followed by a variety of other things with various textures, scents, sounds, shapes, and colors. Silver bells that twinkle and ding, soft felt red drums, velvety bows, a bendable wirey silver garland, a bumpy, hard Christmastime teddy bear figurine, and a smooth victorian santa/polar bear ornament round out the basket. It's not only engaging to the eye, but delightful for people of all ages to sort through as they experience all of the different contrasting sensory input!

Easy to create, a great educational spin on decorating, and affordable as all getout because you probably already have everything you need to create your own Sensory Christmas Basket Centerpiece. Remember to include different textures, colors, variations of pressure (hard to soft), reflections of light (like a shiny bell vs. a dull cinnamon stick), scents, and even pieces that the children can manipulate (like the garland I used). Have fun keeping your decorations simple so you can focus on the reason for the season!

Have an idea to create a Simple Christmas of your own? We'd love to feature it on LifeMoreSimply with a link back to your own blog and a little info about you! DIY projects, gift ideas, celebrations, food...anything that helps keep things simple and real for Christmas! Email your write up to: lifemoresimply@yahoo.com with "Simple Christmas Post" in the subject line.