Preparing for the birth you want

A good birthing experience doesn't simply happen on its own. Thoughtful reflection, selection, and preparation are needed to ensure a gentle and positive birth since left to itself, a woman in our culture is all too often taught that giving birth is a medical problem requiring hospitalization and treatment. While this certainly can be the case should complications arrive, most births are uncomplicated and should instead be considered a normal part of life that a woman's body is designed and knows how to do. Given this realization, each woman should be given the opportunity to prepare for the birth that she desires, whether it be an all natural home birth or a hospitalized birth with an epidural. Many women don't know where to start when preparing for birth since they don't know what options are out there or even that it doesn't have to be a traumatic, medicalized, or significantly painful experience.


Through careful research and daily preparation, I was able to have an amazing and peaceful birthing experience. I chose to see a certified midwife and have a water birth in the birthing center of a local hospital with the use of no drugs and only the necessary monitoring (they checked the fetal heart rate twice with a doppler and also took my blood pressure when I first arrived). From the very first contraction to my daughter's arrival, it took 4 hours. In fact, it was only 1 hour and 5 minutes after we arrived at the hospital that I caught my daughter myself! Our birthing experience was the most powerful and amazing thing I've ever gone through, and I'm convinced that it wouldn't have been like this if I hadn't take then time to carefully select and prepare for what I wanted to happen.


To prepare for the birthing experience YOU want to have, make sure you consider the following:


1) Insurance coverage; did you know that many providers in the US (including major ones like Blue Cross, Blue Shield) cover attended home births at the same rate that they cover hospital births? Midwives are also generally covered at the same rate as an obstetric physician, but unless you ask, you won't know! Most other countries (socialized ones in particular) are very much in favor of home births and midwives and the rates of using these are much higher (like around 30%) than in the US (which is currently at less than 1% for home births--interesting, because home births have much fewer complications than comparable births!).

2) Hospital and birthing center philosophies; being a paramedic, I was pretty familiar with the differences in how the hospitals around me viewed women and babies in labor. I was sure to still visit each one that I was considering though, to take a tour and ask questions. There is a HUGE difference in the philosophies from place to place and this will probably be the biggest impact on whether you have the birth experience you want or not (aside from any physical complications whose necessity overrides any desires). Some good questions to ask are:

•  Mother and fetal monitoring requirements (do you have to be hooked up to machines for the whole time? Do you have to have internal exams every so often?).
• Can I wear the clothing I want to birth in, or must I wear a hospital gown?
• What are my options for birthing environments and positions (bed, stool, tub, shower, etc.)?
• Number of people allowed in the birthing room
• Will you stay in one room for labor, birth, and recovery?
• Can the baby room-in with you, and may a parent be with him or her at all times?
• What sorts of things can you refuse (Vitamin K shot, eye drops, cutting the cord immediately after delivery, leaving the vernix on to be rubbed in, bathing the baby yourself, etc.)?
• How supportive is the hospital of breastfeeding, skin to skin bonding (did you know that skin-to-skin is the best way to warm up a cold baby?), delayed vaccinations/procedures, and bed sharing?
• Things you are allowed to bring with you and use while laboring/birthing (CD player, food, beverages, aromatherapy machine, etc.).

3) Interview the practitioner; your midwife or Dr. will become very well acquainted with your body and emotions, so choose wisely. I always feel bad when someone tells me they aren't too happy with their provider--if this happens to you, change to someone else that you're more comfortable with! A few key things to learn before you decide, or to prompt you to switch to a different person is how much they will respect your wishes for a natural birthing experience, if you will be seeing the same provider at each appointment, how much he or she will listen to your concerns or if they'll just be overlooked, how available they are between appointments and during the night and weekends, and how overall supportive they are of you and how comfortable you are with them. Don't let someone else take away the experience you want to have from you!


4) Consider various birthing methods/philosophies; "Lamaze" is the popular thing around my neck of the woods, but frankly, after seeing enough women give birth using this method on TLC's A Baby Story, I wasn't sure I wanted much to do with it. :-) Panting, pushing, counting...come on, seriously? Instead of signing up for the first class I found, I spoke with colleagues, my midwife, and did Internet research (including watching lots of YouTube videos) before deciding that I wanted to go with HypnoBirthing (the Mongan Method). With this method, you learn and practice deep relaxation (self hypnosis) to help you achieved a very relaxed, peaceful state of mind (with complete awareness the whole time) during birthing. There are also supportive things like deep breathing, massage, and positioning that all help to ensure that your body doesn't fight against your uterus as it ends up doing with Lamaze any method that has you panting and pushing by force. It worked awesomely for me to allow a gentle and fast birthing that wasn't even the most painful thing I'd ever felt. This involved me practicing the HypnoBirthing scripts every night for weeks before the birth, though!


5) Communicate your desires; You can't expect people to be mind readers, so open communication is key. Discuss your desires and your plans with your provider well in advance; also discuss what his or her reasons would be if they were ever to override your communicated wishes. While this will hopefully prevent any problems when you give birth, be prepared to be assertive if you need to be. Sometimes, a mother's rights and desires are cast aside during labor and delivery--be prepared to speak up and advocate for yourself should this happen. Since I know I will be concentrating on my body during birth, my husband is the person responsible for advocating for my wishes when I give birth.


I didn't actually write a birth plan, but I was sure to make my desires known to my midwife, husband, and the nurses who met me when I arrived at the birthing unit. A birth plan can be a particularly good idea if you don't see the same practitioner each time or if someone unfamiliar to you is assisting you in your birthing. Earth Mama Angel Baby offers a very comprehensive one online that's free and easy to personalize with many natural options.


6) Expect the best! You've done your research and preparation--spend time every day listening to or reading positive birthing affirmations and doing things that will help you feel prepared and in control of your experience. A relaxed mother may be the most powerful force in having a relaxed birthing both for the mother and the baby.
 Giving birth is a beautiful experience that should be celebrated at every level. It is natural, normal, and a woman's body knows how to do it. Deciding on and preparing for the birthing experience you want you and your baby to have is so very important. Don't leave it up to someone else to decide for you!


Some links I recommend:
LoveBug's Birth Story
Birthing Q & A
HypnoBirthing
HypnoBabies
MotheringDot Community Forums (scroll down to the birthing section)
Diaper Swapper's Birth Stories & Announcements Forum


What if...you did everything you could to plan for a beautiful birth, and then it didn't happen? It'd be nice to think that the birthing experience is completely dependent upon the mother's preparation and attitude, but the truth is that sometimes, things don't go as planned and dreams go out the window. My friend, Carrie, from http://ohbabyo.wordpress.com, experienced this and will be sharing a "when your birth doesn't go as planned" article with us as a guest blog. Stay tuned to be sure you don't miss it!

Labor Creations Labor Kit Review & Giveaway

A big thanks to A Mother's Boutique for being a big sponsor of the Baby Mama Shower!

Labor Creations Labor Kit Review & Giveaway

"Creating items to pamper moms as they labor in birthing God's new creations"

I'm always excited to see a new business get off the ground, and especially when the opportunity allows the owner to work at home and provide a product that people actually need and want. Labor Creations is one of these businesses, thought of and developed by Jamie, a friendly and caring work-at-home-mother of two young children. You can read about her inspiration to start Labor Creations here, a business that provides Labor Kits for expecting mamas.

Each Labor Kit cost $35.00 + $10.70 US shipping and is comprised of almost entirely hand made items. When I received mine in the mail for review, I was impressed by the artistry put into the kit through the hand painted bag and hand sketched laboring/birthing positions chart. They are both kept simple in the illustrations and colors, allowing the viewer to easily understand and appreciate them. Though not laminated like the positions' chart, Jamie has also included a sheet of birthing affirmations which you know I'm a big fan of. The bag itself is larger than I'd expected and has given me a LOT of room to add things to it that I will need in the hospital. In fact, I've been keeping it on my closet's door knob so I can pop things into it as I think of them and also so I won't have any trouble finding it if I end up giving birth sooner than I expect to. :-)

I have really been enjoying the lavender scented heat pack. It's just the right size to drape over my shoulder when I'm having back pain and my husband won't give me a massage (that will be the day!). The essential oils are really a good blend and intensity to induce relaxation, so I know this will be the bag I pull out of my cupboard when I'm in early labor! Along with this, the slipper socks are soft and cute with bright colors. I don't think the pair that's in the kit right now are of any better quality than hospital socks, but I do know that Jamie is working on other types of socks or something else to offer in the kit to replace these. Until that change is made, though, you'll definitely have the most fashionable pair of feet on the birthing wing. :-)

I love the goat's milk soap, lotion, and lip balm included in the Labor Kit! Everything smells sooooo delicious while remaining lightly scented so as to not bother a newborn's nose. The textures are creamy and smooth, and I've had a hard time not using everything all up so I can save it for when I'm in the hospital. It will be so nice to have hand made, moisturizing toiletries with me this time instead of using the commercial stuff that the hospital provides! I don't know why I didn't think about this last time I gave birth as these are definitely going in my bag for this time. Though I wish that all of these items are bigger just so I could use them longer, the "trial" size of the soap and lotion actually provide more than enough for two days and take up less room in your bag thanks to their smaller size.

Each Labor Kit contains the following items:

*Large, hand painted, poly tote bag to keep all of your kit items and more in!

*Labor Creations' 8x10" hand made heat pack with washable case

*Laminated Labor Creations Laboring/Birthing Positions Chart

*Hand painted slipper socks

*Hand made Goats milk soap

*Hande made Lotion and Lip balm by Scarborough Lane

*Wooden Massager

*Birth Affirmations

There are many bag designs, heat pack prints, and scents to choose from for the kit's contents. Coming soon will be "a la carte" items that you can add to your kit to personalize them even more!

Buy It! Visit http://www.laborcreations.com/ to view the whole selection and purchase a bag.

Win It! Labor Creations will be giving one kit to a lucky reader of mine. To enter, you need to visit http://www.laborcreations.com/ and choose which bag design/kit you'd like. Choose carefully since that's what you'll be receiving if you win! Be sure to leave a separate email address AND comment for each entry. Contest will end on or after May 7, 2010 at noon, EST.

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• Visit Labor Creations on Facebook and leave message on their wall that Life More Simply sent you
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• Leave a message on Life More Simply's Facebook wall telling me your list of "labor/birthing bag" items you can't live without, then come back here and let me know you did.
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Note: Labor Creations provided me with the bag for this review. No other compensation was received and the opinions are all mine.

Evita Dress Review & Giveaway from A Mother's Boutique!

A big thanks to A Mother's Boutique for being a big sponsor of the Baby Mama Shower!

You've probably noticed (and hopefully clicked on) me mentioning A Mother's Boutique throughout this month. Not only have they played a big part in me being able to bring this Baby Mama Shower event to you, but they are also playing a big part in the daily life of mothers through providing a place to find high quality clothing and breastfeeding accessories for pregnant and nursing mothers as well as some cute breastfeeding advocacy wear for babies. :-) Everything from underwear and bras to swim and eveningwear for every stage of early motherhood can be found at A Mother's Boutique with free ground shipping for orders over $60.00!

Some of my favorite items include:

The Organic Nursing Hoodie for $79.00 that comes in three different colors and doesn't even look like a nursing shirt. If you've ever tried to nurse while wearing a traditional hoodie, you too know that it becomes cumbersome very easily thanks to the bulk. I'd LOVE to have a hoodie made for nursing!

The Cichlid top on sale for $47.00. It's good for both pregnancy and nursing which is a huge bonus in my eyes, and it's fun as all get out. I don't know if it'd look as good on me in real life as it does the model, but it's fun to dream. :-)

 

Another super fun item is the breastfeeding advocacy wear that sports slogans like "The Milk Factory" for moms and "Born to Nurse" for babies. :-) Click here to check it out.

Their Front Twist Tankini by Anne Matthew for $63.00. I was tempted to snag this for the product review, but Judy, the owner of A Mother's Boutique, asked for a photo of me wearing whatever it was I chose to review. Well, I'm thinking that me in a swimsuit right now would NOT help make people want to buy anything from her store, so as much as I want the suit, I passed it up to spare you the image. ;-) So enjoy it on Anne Matthew to the side there. She looks great in it, doesn't she?

 

It comes in two colors and choices of bottoms...and you just lift the empire waist part of the top to nurse! I haven't ever tried to nurse when we've gone swimming simply because my chest is always too big so my suits are too tight and, well, getting the suit on to begin with is enough trouble without tryint to nurse on top of it. Since I've never tried a nursing swimsuit, I can't tell you how well it works, but I can definitely tell you that I want to find out!

What I did get a chance to review is also made by Anne Matthew: the Evita dress in crimson. It's a simple yet elegant dress that works for both the office and a night out--and it looks beautiful both during pregnancy and after with the ability to easily nurse your baby while wearing it! All you have to do is push the V-neck part aside and whola--nursing is easy while helping to keep you covered and without stretching your dress out. I've found it very easy to get on and off (important when you're 30-weeks pregnant and have a toddler who sticks to you like glue), falls around your figure nicely, and is easy to nurse from. I would recommend choosing a size larger than you think you'll need if you're a "lumpy" sort of lady. I've managed to sprout some love handles during this pregnancy (with my daughter it was the thighs and butt, this time it's the waist...what's a woman to do?) and notice that you can definitely see them when I wear this dress. I've modeled it for my sisters and husband who swear it is really just fine, but self concious me, I would just suggest that you go with a size bigger if you don't want all of the curves highlighted. :-) That picture to the side is of me wearing the dress at 29-weeks pregnant. Cute basketball-belly, right? I really like how the dress makes the bump look cute!

The dress is made of rayon spandex but is as soft as organic cotton, so the feel is great. I find that it can work for both chilly and warm weather and drapes very nicely over a pregnant belly. For $99.00, I think it's a decent price too, considering that you can wear it during pregnancy, nursing, and afterward--and look and feel great in it at any stage! I've even worn it with a dressy pair of pants underneath and have loved that look as well. We all know how important and difficult it can be to feel pretty during pregnancy and nursing, so don't underestimate the power of a nice dress. Five colors and a wide range of sizes ensure a good fit AND a flattering color to you as well.

A Mother's Boutique also offer a selection of "sale" items including all sorts of both regular and imperfect items that you'll want to check out, as well as a nice and informative blog which I've enjoyed going through. When you place an order, please expect great customer service. Judy was a joy to work with--quick shipping, great with answering sizing questions, and just all around pleasant and knowledgable!

Buy It! Visit http://mothersboutique.com/ and use the code "BABIES" for $5.00 off your $50.00 order.

Win It! A Mother's Boutique is giving away TWO $25.00 gift certificates to their store! Each will be chosen by random.org, so if you enter more than once, you might win both. :-) To enter, please visit http://mothersboutique.com/ and tell me what one of your favorite items in the store is and why. Be sure to leave an email address and separate comment for each entry! The winners will be chosen on or after May 7th, 2010.

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Note: A Mother's Boutique provided me with the Evita dress to write this review. No other compensation was received for this review and I was under no obligation to write anything positive. The opinions are all mine!