Dear Mom Like Me

Dear mom who is run down, looks like a hot mess, feels like she can't remember who she is, is sure she is failing, feels guilty because she is secretly angry inside, is convinced her life is a hamster wheel, but somehow loves being with these amazing little people even more than she is frustrated by all of the "other" things that come along with them:

You know that you're enough, so I'm not going to tell you that. You know that this too shall pass, and you probably feel like you have no right to even tell anyone how you're feeling because you don't want someone to be confused and think that you aren't grateful for your children or that by feeling this way that you somehow take your children or your moments with them for granted.

I know you don't take the kids for granted. I know you don't take the moments for granted. I know you are grateful. But I also know that you miss yourself. I know that you struggle with being depressed and happy at the same time and man, it's so confusing. I know that you want to scream at doing 400 dishes a day, that Mt. Laundry might as well be called Mt. Never Ending Treadmill and that you just wish you could be a "normal" person (i.e. showering more than once a week) again.

Dear mama, this is what you need to know. This is what I need to know. And this is what we need to remember, and remind each other of daily:

• Your children think you're beautiful.
• No one else knows how messy your house is.
• Your kids don't care how messy your house is. (oh, the irony)
• If you're like me, you just can't accept the fact that your house is going to be messy while you have young children. Instead, work on accepting the fact that you're just going to feel crappy about how the house is while you have you have young children.
• You still have the same smile that your husband fell in love with.
• You can own your new "mom" identity. 
• You don't have to let go of who you used to be. Just because you haven't ran a marathon in 2 years, played piano in 6 months, aced a college exam in 10 years, or learned a new skill that didn't involve your offspring in...a long time..., doesn't mean that those things aren't still a part of who you are. There are seasons, and just because the corn isn't being harvested now, doesn't mean it isn't growing or that it won't be planted again. And if you decide to grow squash next time instead of corn, it's ok. Your entire life makes up you, not just the present.
• It's ok to rest. 
• It's ok to have a bad day.
• It's ok to love and hate what you're doing, where you're at, and to be frustrated by the fact that you can't change it.
• And it's ok to admit that none of these things mean that you don't love your kids more than all the other moms in the world. In fact, they have no effect on the fact that you are a rockstar mom or that your kids are going to grow up, call you blessed, and talk about the awesome memories they have of childhood--because they are going to have them. 

Maybe motherhood of young children is like childbirth; it's excruciatingly difficult at moments, but after it's done, you somehow become oblivious to the difficulties you went through and just remember the amazingness of it instead. Because let's face it, it is amazing hearing a person read for the first time. To see them discover their toes. To hear them say "I love you". The fact that we know what our baby needs by the way she cries. To be the one he needs in the middle of the night. That they want to tell us EVERYTHING. That is amazing.

And you, mama, are amazing, too. Keep your eyes above the waves. You're gonna make it, and you're gonna do great.

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Beatnik Love Poem (paraphrase of Song of Songs 8:6-7 and 1 Corinthians 13)

Beatnik Love

Paraphrase of Song of Songs 8:6-7 and 1 Corinthians 13

by Rachel Giles

Set me as a tattoo on your heart

      Seal my ring on your finger

For LOVE is as strong as death,

Our souls entwined breathe the same breath

Hearts protected, bound together

      Distressed only to become enmeshed

For ardent love is as unrelenting as Sheol

LOVE can’t be bought, L O V E    c a n ’ t     b e   s o l d

When love flashes over,

It consumes beyond the fire load

Its flames are fierce and daunting,

Nothing can be found that it can’t corrode

Mighty waters cannot put out the flames of love!
Floods, rivers, not even torrents of ran from above!

Without it,          we are nothing

Even if we have faith to move mountains,

The gift to prophecy

Understand all mysteries;

speak all languages;

converse with angels;

offer our bodies to be burned;

give everything to feed the poor!

             

Without love…

Everything means nothing

Of this, I ensure.

LOVE is patient, and kind

Never  jealous

Boastful

proud or rude

Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered

Keeping records of wrong,                it doesn’t include

Love protects from evil

LOVE rejoices in the truth

Love is always supporting,

Loyal

Hopeful

Trusting

In it, there will never be room for a ruse

Love never fails!

It never ends!

It never flees!

Prophecies will stop, Languages will no longer be spoken

Knowledge forgotten, Understanding be broken

We don’t know everything

And our prophecies are not complete

But what is perfect will someday appear

And what isn’t perfect will then disappear

The only things that will remain

And not collapse at our feet

Are faith, hope and love

…everything else,               
                                                            LOVE        will defeat.

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This poem was written for my upcoming wedding. Do not use without permission or credit given. And, while I'm at it, I'm still looking for someone to perform it. So if you're available on September 15, 2012 and want to hang out in Upstate, NY, you just let me know. ;-)

A borrowed thought on birthing without fear

I began cleaning out my blog subscription list tonight. The first one was deleted with no problem since the author hadn't posted anything in a year. Then, not recalling what the next blog was, I clicked on Heartbeat Photography...and fell in love. I have a soft spot for newborn and pregnancy photography. There is something magical and beautiful about it. This woman, wherever she is from and whomever she is, gets it. The moments she has captured are just that--magical and beautiful. What I want to share with you, is a paragraph that she wrote on the page who explains who she is as the artist behind the photos.

"Beyond capturing souls, hearts, smiles, bellies or little toes; I have discovered a great love for speaking, mentoring, and educating my fellow sisters in faith about their glorious bodies, swollen bellies, growing babies and the journey and miracle of bringing new life into the world. I educate, create, inspire, doula, midwife and walk 'with women' to help them and love on them as they fulfill our most amazing task: to bring forth the life that our God has created."

My favorite words from her, though, are this:

 "Women are the carriers of life. We hold the fruit of Christ's love beneath our hearts. Our curses have been taken by the blood of the lamb and we no longer need to serve fear, death, pain or torment. We are free. It is time we started to birth with the Faith that He has given us."

(http://ourheartsbeating.blogspot.com)

Birthing Affirmation - Birth Prayer by S. Fierr-Baig

One of the things that I did to prepare for my daughter's birth was to regularly read affirmations out loud in the months prior to her birthing. During the birth, I had my mother read scriptural affirmations to me. I had also brought non-scriptural ones with me, but didn't have time for them! I came across this paraphrase of a passage in Isaiah today and really wanted to share it with you. I'll make it a point to post more birthing affirmations in the future as they're a wonderful tool to prepare and get through the amazing event of a birth.

Birth Prayer

by Susana Fierro-Baig

Chid within me, the Lord has created you.

He has formed your body, and you are his.

When you pass through the waters, He will be with you and you will not be harmed. He is the Lord, thy God, thy Saviour. You are precious in His sight. He loves you.

Let us not fear, for our Redeemer is with us. He will bring you forth safely. He will protect us from harm if we take upon us His name, for he created us to glorify Him.

We will be blessed with health, strength, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. With his gentle, loving hands he will deliver you without interference from anyone.

I will not be afraid of your birth, for I know that the Lord created me to be a mother. My body knows what to do to assist the Lord as He delivers you out of my womb.

Together we will work to bring you into this world without pain. The water that now protects you will carry you out and I will open myself up to you.

The feelings of love, joy, and peace will escort you on your journey. When you are ready to join us in the world, we will welcome you.

Your father and I have been honored with stewardship over you. He has placed you in our care that we may love you and teach you His word.

Your father is eager to hold you in his arms. I am eager to bring you to my bosom and nurse you.

We look forward to your arrival, yet we will not grow impatient in waiting for your birth-day. We do not want you to be born before you are fully ready.

Your father and I will not be fearful. God has promised us that if we do not fear and are obedient to His commands, He will pour His spirit upon you and His blessings.

Our family will praise and honor Him for the blessing of your birth, and the miracle of your life, giving thanks with song.

Adapted from Isaiah 43&44