How I Became A Single Mother

I was just reading through old posts I had written, and I realized how much my mother's heart was shared with all of you throughout my journey of being a work-out-of-home mother and then continuing that with my second child being born 20 months after my oldest. I remember how cathartic it was to write these things, and to know that other people are going through the same things as well. And maybe more than anything, it was a wonderful reminder to me that there is hope for all of us in uncomfortable or even difficult situations...So tonight, I thought, instead of showering you with a brilliant idea or an inspirational piece of literature, I will be vulnerable. I will take a moment, again, to let you know where I have been at, so that you can be comforted if my story is not so unlike your own.

In February, 2011, I became a single mother. My marriage had gotten to the point where I had no choice but to pack up my then 6-month-old and barely 2-year-old and leave. The abuse had been there since dating, and it had only gotten increasingly worse over the years. The life had slowly been sucked out of me. I realized the night before I left that my marriage was done, and that the only way I could keep myself and my children safe anymore was to go. And this is coming from a woman who doesn't believe in divorce. As you can imagine, it was a terrifying event. I slept on a futon with my babies and lived out of two laundry baskets for the next two weeks or so. But we were safe, and I slowly began to feel alive again as I realized I could breathe and as I saw my children become peaceful.

It's been a long journey. I haven't written a lot about it on Life More Simply because I didn't think all of the details fit the purpose of LMS, and also because I used http://OctobersHeart.blogspot.com to journal much of my emotions during this time. But here I am, and I wanted you to know. And if you want me to start sharing more about single motherhood, domestic violence, remarriage, blended families, etc., on Life More Simply, you just let me know! I imagine that there are more of us than just myself out there who have been touched by these things.

Today, my daughter is 3-years-old, and my son will be 2-years-old on July 3rd. And...they have a new Papa, too. Eight weeks ago tomorrow, Ben and I eloped. We're planning a wedding for September 15th, and I will definitely be writing about that. I don't know if I really expected for God to bring a man into our life who fit us perfectly, but He did. Our family has never been so complete, and it's beautiful. This man has been a father to my children right from day one, and I have never experienced such a love as this.

So I want you to know, however desperate your situation is, there is hope. There is always hope. And if any of you want to travel to Upstate NY for my wedding, just let me know. ;-)

Love,
Rachel