Love Happens Here

I am the full time mama of a 3-year-old and 18-month-old. My children are 20 months apart. While I do work full time, I consider myself a stay-at-home mama just as much as I consider myself a working-outside-the-home mama. In fact, I find that the 40 hours a week that I spend at my "job" is easier and less stressful than the other 128 hours a week I spend with my kiddos. Sometimes, I think I'm going crazy, and I crave to go to work...the funny thing is, as soon as I'm at work, I miss my babies something fierce! It's a funny world, the blend between working motherhood and home motherhood.

Before anything else, I am a mother. Lately, I have been working 40-hours-straight every weekend so that I can be the one with my children during the week. I go in at 7pm Friday night, and stay until Sunday at 11am. Marvelous, it is, but it's also a schedule cut out for someone who belongs in a loony bin. Imagine the possibility of being awake for many hours straight and responsible for people's lives no matter how tired you are? Yes, I am a paramedic. And yes, your life will always come before my need for sleep and no matter how tired I am, you are going to get my absolute best care. Imagine packing three people up for three days, and getting your house in order before that so when you come back, you have something clean to wear.

Because I choose my children to come first (ok, after God!), I do things a little differently. I work ridiculous shifts so that I can be the one with them 5 days a week. The house is sometimes a mess because I don't park them in front of the TV so I can clean all of the time. I have no idea what current TV shows are playing. I haven't read anyone's blog in forever (I miss that!). Lately, I haven't even been able to work out (UGH). My sewing projects are still waiting, my bedroom still isn't arranged the way I want it to be, and sometimes, I get lonely being with no other adults sometimes for days on end. However...

There are a lot of things that we do. We do family. Lego creations get built. Magnificent make believe stories get told. Dancing in the living room happens. We do loud. Songs are sung. Pictures are painted. Baby dolls are rocked. Giggle erupt constantly. Tickle fights are a routine. Jumping on the bed (shhhhh!) sneaks in.We do discipline. Spankings, time out's, and "the look" may be given throughout the day---but they are overshadowed by hugs, attention, and the exchange of a thousand magical kisses. We do learning. Snowflakes are tasted. Letters are traced. Colors are mixed. Chores are done (even if they aren't real effective yet!). We do love.

Love happens here, and that is why those other things we don't do aren't really missed.