Obviously my intent was not to offend anyone (hello, do I look like I want to be a WOHM? Why would I be against the very thing I want to be?), but nonetheless it happened (okay, and why are SAHM's even reading and then commenting mean things about me on a WOHM forum?). Maybe I should be a syndicated writer since I seem to be able to capture an audience and evoke strong participation. ;-)
In response to my post, someone had the brilliance to start a new thread entitled "10 Things a WOHM Would Love To Hear." It is this thread that has inspired me to think this idea. What would I like to hear? The obvious things that come to mind would be great--a WAHM job, a full body massage, an offer to clean my house and make dinners every night...But then I realized the thing that would encourage me the most: a "good job!" letter from God. This is what I'd like it to say:
You are doing EXACTLY what I want you to be doing right now and I am proud of you. I want you to know that you are a great mom. It's okay if your house is never clean, you never get time to scrapbook, and you cry every day because you aren't with your baby. Being an accomplished homemaker, doting wife, and making special things for you and your family isn't what gives you value or makes you better than anyone else. You have value because I have chosen you; and you may only be better because of the person you are, not because of the things you do.
It's okay if other people misinterpret what you say, your reasons for working, and judge you. I know the struggles you have endured and continue to face with the decisions surrounding work and being away from your daughter. You haven't had to make an easy choice, and I know the choice you did make hurts you every single day. Rest in knowing that I am with you, and I understand. Remember that you are doing what I want you to do.
You see, I knew you'd have to work, and I still wanted your baby girl to be with you--not another family! It wasn't by accident that I put her with you. I knew that she wouldn't spend every day with you, that you wouldn't be able to teach her everything you wanted to, and that you would sometimes have to wake her up before she wanted to so that she could go to Grandma's house for the day. She is fine with these things, and it's okay. She knows who her mommy is, and she's glad you have given her the chance to spend so much time with the other people that she loves, too. Knowing everything you'd have to face and deal with, I still wanted her with you. You are the best mom there is for her.
Your daughter will grow up to be a strong, beautiful, godly woman and you will have had a great part in shaping her to be that way! Don't worry--you are giving her every opportunity to grow and learn that she needs. Her needs are being met, even if your heart is breaking. She is happy, healthy, and in love with her mama. That's what's important, right?
Don't be discouraged. I love you even more than you love your daughter. Keep up the great work!