Heartfelt Birthday Rant

I am 25-years-old today. I remember a time when I thought that my 17-year-old baby sitter was "old." Now, I think of how young and innocent (or niave!) 17 can be. What would I have changed from 17 to now if I had "known" what I do now?

I'm not sure if I'd change anything, other than possibly skip getting my B.S.. It hasn't helped me too much and I now have an almost-$200-payment a month for practically the rest of my life (yuck).

I might have gotten married sooner. I don't think my parents thought I knew what I was doing when I got engaged just before my 20th birthday and married when I was 21.5-years-old. I did. Now they know, too.

I would have moved heaven and hell before getting pregnant to create an at-home-business so that I could be home with my baby girl. But really, who knows if that would have worked out, anyway?

In all, I think that this last year has aged me more than it should have. I feel like an old lady trapped in the body of a 25-year-old. It has been the best darn year I've ever had (with the birth of my daughter only 2 days after my own birthday!), but it's also been the hardest. I have struggled with more depression than I think I ever have (or at least a different type of depression), been more tired, and felt like I'm trying so hard but accomplishing so little (will my house ever be clean again?!).

Like I said though, this has also been the best year of my life. I never knew how much I would LOVE being a mama until I had that little girl. How blessed I am! I have been filled with more love, adoration, and desire that I ever knew was possible.

So here I am, 25-years-old. Today isn't really special in an of itself. I probably won't eat any cake, and maybe won't even get a present today (my husband's sick, my family is busy, and my daughter is just too young)...but that's okay, because I am alive, have a beautiful family, and an entire life ahead of me. What will the future bring?

Here's what I hope it brings for me:
- more babies (or baby)
- having my own business
- travel, travel, travel with my family!
- go on a vacation with JUST my husband to some warm place with water
- health
- debt-free financial security (hopefully even with a little extra spending money included!)
- big veggie and flower gardens
- fighting fires and cutting cars
- sleeping through the night again

Life is such a precious gift. Let's not waste it!