Okay, so I am hoping that someone out there noticed I haven't blogged in, like, oh, a month? I hope that someone wondered if I am still alive, and maybe even about why I haven't written. Maybe you read my more "personal" blog over at http://OctobersHeart.blogspot.com and have became part of my inward struggles lately. Or maybe you didn't notice at all.
Either way, I have decided that I can't run away from the inevitable forever. I do remember telling all of you that I was going to share the story of my husband and myself during February. I do feel badly for never even starting it and leaving an empty slate for the entire month. And I do still want to tell our story.
Why didn't I ever start it though? Because I left him. Somehow, that made starting my story more complicated. Not just the "I'm displaced so using the Internet and writing a blog post is difficult," but the whole emotional and mental hurricane that ensues when you have to leave your spouse makes digesting your past a lot more difficult. On top of that, I have been avoiding telling people we know just because neither of us want to deal with the negativity towards the opposite spouse that society loves to harp on, nor the moral opposition of people who had no idea what's been going on in our relationship because I have never felt the need to broadcast our dirty laundry so to speak.
But now, I am ready. It was a month ago today that I packed up my kids and we left. Know that as you read our story, I still love my husband just as much as I ever did. Nothing will ever change that. I also respect him and that respect has actually grown a lot in the last month as I have seen him shed the things that made it impossible for us to stay.
It's just time to tell my story now...even if I still don't know the ending.