Webcasting my birthing relay race

I know how much ya'll have been missing my insightful and addictingly interesting posts, so I thought I'd try to write something real quick to let you know what's been going on. :-)

I haven't been online in about 2 weeks and am only on now thanks to my parents' connection. Unfortunately, I don't ever get as much accomplished online as I'd like to when I'm at their house because my 19-month-old feels the need to be attached to me at all times. Not that I mind--goodness, I missed 9-13 hours a day of her life 5-6 days a week until I was taken off of work a month ago! On the other hand, having a dwarf holding both of your hands makes typing difficult.

So before I give the little update, I must apologize first to my readers (you are why I have a blog) and particularly those who are waiting for me to mail them prizes or to send their names on to companies for prizes. Secondly, I must offer an embarrassed apology to the companies who are patiently (and not so patiently) waiting for me to get their reviews and giveaways up. I'd love to tell you that a pregnant lady's life is predictable, but frankly, it's not and that's why I'm at home with a computer but no Internet. If you'd like to pay for me to have the Internet, I will happily write your post. Until then, I'm afraid you must keep waiting.

The Update

I am still pregnant, though my boy thinks he's not a part of me and continually tries to become un-attached whenever I walk. Part of me thinks I won't be giving birth until July 4th (he's due 6/30) simply because I was 11 (yes, ELEVEN) days overdue with LoveBug. The other part of me thinks I could have him tonight if I'd just take part in some roudy love making, eat mexican food, and walk half a mile. Only time will tell!

The delightful part of anticipating his birth is that we expect everything to take about 2 hours from the very first contraction...and our car ride is at least 30 minutes long. :-) I bought a nasal aspirator this week to keep in the car just in case. So here's my plan once that first pain hits my abdomen:

1) time two more contractions just to make sure it's the real thing.

2) call my husband and pray he's not out making a delivery in the next state (quite possible since he works for a restaurant supply company).

3) grab cloth diapers to throw into LoveBug's overnight bag while calling my mom so she can meet me at the hospital.

4) if I can drive, I load LoveBug and myself into the car (after grabbing everything else on my list of items I need to bring with me--the list is taped to our front door for easy access). If I cannot drive, I will call my dear friend and pray she isn't in a meeting at work so that she can drive us to the hospital. If my husband is close by, I will wait for him. Should I have to drive us alone, I will have my mom start towards me so that when I'm unable to continue driving, she can intercept us and bring us the rest of the way. Someone can just get our van later.

5) sit on a contractor type garbage bag and towel during the car ride. If I have to give birth on the side of the road, I will at least make it to the county line that puts me in "my" ambulance district. Not that I'm allowing any of my medic buddies to actually see me giving birth; I'll just be hollering to them to hand me stuff if I need it, and then let them take me to the hospital I was already headed to. I'm all about catching my own child, even if it is in a corn field.

TWO hours, folks. That's what I'm aiming for. Hopefully, when my child departs me, I'll be comfortable in a big tub of water in a beautiful birthing suite overlooking a lake and not in my car as I look at my daughter strapped in a car seat wondering what on earth is happening to her mother.

What do you say--should I webcast the whole event?