Our Jouney Into Montessori

"Overall, what makes this method of learning so different compared to the conventional form of education we have today, is that the teacher does not stand in front of the class and teach each child the same lesson all at once. Each child is allowed to learn at his own rhythm in a way where he feels as though he is in fact not learning or being taught.

 

Montessori called this way of teaching 'preparing the child for success'. The teacher is there to guide the child through small Exercises in which the child will succeed. Through time, the Exercises rise in difficulty but because the progression is so well thought out, the child never feels as though learning is a struggle."

-Montessori Primary Guide 

 

During one of my first semesters of college, I had the brilliant idea of taking an early childhood education class, thinking I'd love to be a teacher...and the thing is, I do love teaching. I have taught music lessons to people of all ages, taught college level psychology and recreation therapy classes (through teacher's assistantships; I'm not a qualified professor! haha), coordinated challenge courses, designed and taught classes for staff of and individuals with disabilities, substitute taught in the public schools...yeah, I love to teach! The thing is, though, I didn't like the education class I took, and thus majored in Psychology and Therapeutic Recreation (and Paramedicine) instead. While I found the early childhood education class to be way too simplistic and I couldn't justify spending money on a series of classes that didn't challenge me, I did take away an amazing experience from that class (aside fom the free pastries and hot cocoa since the location of the class was at a NYS fire academy): I had my first Montessori experience.

As part of our class, we had to each spend a day at an early childhood center. Everyone else chose places like Head Start or local private daycares. The teacher had recommended Montessori, though, and after reading about that educational model, I knew I couldn't visit anywhere else. I spent the day in the 3-6 classroom and was amazed. It was magical! Everything was to-size for the children. They were engaged. The place was clean. The children were helping and teaching each other. These children were set up for success, not failure, and were being taught real life skills instead of just textbook facts.

I met with the school administrator during outdoor play time, and then he took me on a tour of the rest of the school. I got to see the Jr. High aged room, where kids had found their own spaces to work on math books--some were at tables, others were sprawled on the floor, and another was tucked into a hideaway that was built into a loft in the classroom. I was told that the P.E. teacher coordinated with the head teachers of this room so that when the kids were learning about Ancient Rome, they were doing Olympic style games in "gym class." Not only was the learning environment engaging and memorable, but it was effective too, as I learned that the scoring of kids in a Montessori program was higher than that of traditional programs.

It's years later now, and I have a daughter of my own who will be 4-years-old at the end of October. Oh, how I want her to have this magical education! How I want to see her grow and learn, being excited as she masters new concepts! And then...reality hits. How on EARTH can I send her to a Montessori school on a paramedic's salary? How could I even transport her to and from school when I could be gone for two days at a time working? I begrudgingly began to consider alternatives for her for this Fall. Public education, applying for assistance for a private education. Waiting until next year and having my mother home school her with the curriculum she used for me in Kindergarten (which I still clearly remember loving)...but none of these options sit right in my spirit. Being a working mother, or a parent with financial restraints can limit all of us. I have decided though, that my daughter's education isn't one more thing that being a working mom is going to take away from my mothering. Since sending her to a Montessori school isn't an option due to travel and financial concerns, and I just can't accept sending her to a public institution right now (NO judgement on anyone who does that! I am just a little terrified of the germs and what values/behaviors she'll be exposed to! There are LOTS of great places and great teachers, and no one is a "bad" parent for giving their child an education!!!!!!)...and I don't want to wait until next year to get her started in a homeschool Kindergarten program...

the only option, then...

is to do Montessori home schooling.

And thus, my journey begins as I attempt to learn how to do this, aquire the materials necessarry, figure out an educational space while we're all living at my mom's because we are trying to sell our own home, and how I'm going to set it up so that my daughter can still be doing her school even when I'm working.

Oh yes, I'm excited for this challenge. :)

Posts begin TOMORROW!

The Mom I Wanted To Be

The mom I wanted to be looked like this: she snuggles her babies in the morning because she can and they love it. She reads books to, does puzzles with, and lets them run through the laundry as she hangs it on the line. I wanted to be the mom who created awesome fun birthday parties (ok, I will give myself that one!), who home schooled her kids, who took them on adventures to learn about the world. I wanted to be the mom who taught her three-year-old piano (come on, I'm a musician after all...at least, I used to be!), who nursed until her baby was 2-years-old, and who baked bread once a week and had homemade meals in the freezer.

Today, I still want all of those things, and I'm prophesying them over our future, but...right now, I'm seeing the other side. I am up all night not with my babies, but taking care of mainly college-aged students who have made bad choices and people who live in tents or on the street. And the thing is, it makes me realize that it's not the homemade bread, cloth diapering, or home schooling that makes the difference in if our parenting works or not. 

While I am putting IV's in arms, holding bags for someone to vomit into, and trying to get the truth out of what drugs someone really did or didn't take, I'm in effect, holding someone else's baby at two in the morning. Sometimes, these kids ask me if they should call their parents. And I always say "yes". And most of the time, I'm saddened by the parental responses. Instead of being shocked, outraged, scared, and immediately getting out of their own warm bed to get themselves quickly to the hospital, the parents usually want to talk to me and then they ask me if they should bother coming or not, or if they can just wait to see what the hospital says...while I'm running lights and sirens, and their child has an altered mental status...

It's not the toddler piano lessons that determined if these kids were going to be risking their lives in college or living on the streets as adults. It's the caring of the parents. Granted, I know that you can be the best parent in the world and your child can still grow up to use drugs. But that's the exception, not the norm. Loving your children is the best thing you can do, and that is what's going to make the difference. You may have to be a working mother. You may not be the one there to see your baby's first steps or hear her first words. You may be too sick or tired to have homemade meals in the freezer. But you know what? It's ok.

None of us may ever be the stay-at-home-super-moms that we want to be. But that's not what is going to make the difference in the success of our children, and we need to remember that. Are you interested and involved in your childrens' lives? Do you know what's going on, and do you find a way to connect with your child every day that you're home? Do you give them the best that you can give them? If so, then you're doing ok. Remember that next time that you're feeling down. It's probably not going to be your children that I'll be up all night with.

Love. Care. Pay attention. 

That is what is going to make you a good mama.

Tips for Teaching Respect Without Spanking

Since becoming a "no spanking" family almost a year ago, one of the common questions I receive is about how I am teaching respect to my toddlers if I'm not spanking them. Our approach to teaching respect is  that it is not built on fear, which teaching "respect" through physical pain often does. Those who have never tried a no-spanking method of teaching discipline are often nervous at the thought of attempting to teach respect to young children without spanking, but with these tips, you can have confidence that you are going to do more than you think.

1) Demand respect for yourself by the way you dress. This means, get dressed every morning. Don't ever wear your pajamas to Wal-Mart, and never allow your children to, either. I'm not saying you need to wear make up and heals, but you do need to be neat and clean. Present the image that you want to be treated as. 

2) Demand respect for yourself by speaking appropriately. Don't use slang language, curse words, improper grammar, or say things that you don't actually mean. Listen to your children as though everything they say is important, because to them it is. As is age and developmentally appropriate, correct your child to also speak appropriately.

3) Show respect for authority. Believe me, my 3-year-old knows that I'm not supposed to talk on the cell phone while driving, and she says something when I do! What kind of message am I giving her when I choose to break the law in front of her? If there is a rule, you need to follow it. You can't make exceptions for yourself that you aren't also willing to make for your child.

4) Be consistent. If you are expecting your children to fold their hands and be quiet while praying one evening, then you need to have that same expectation the next evening.

5) Show respect to your spouse. Your child will notice if you complain about your husband to your girl friend on the phone. They will notice if you treat your spouse like a child, disregard, or don't appreciate him. And they will certainly notice if you aren't on the same team together when an issue arises! If you want your child to respect his or her parents, then the parents need to show respect to each other.

6) Build empathy. Use emotion words, such as "sad," "happy," and "scared" when talking about why someone behaves a certain way. Help your child begin to sympathize with others and believe that each person has value by not making unnecessary judging comments about others (focus on the issue, not the person), by taking the time to help others, and by showing that you care about others. A person who empathizes with someone is not disrespectful to that person.

7) Have consequences. When your child speaks or acts disrespectfully to you, if he or she is young, explain what he did wrong and that he is not to do it again. If the transgression is repeated, I follow it immediately with a time out, and an apology from that child. For an older child, have consequences determined ahead of time, and use those consequences to build empathy towards others and respect for himself and you. This could be taking away privileges, requiring volunteer time somewhere, extra chores, etc..

8) Build your child up. We're not going for entitlement here, so don't be confused! What you want to convey is a sense of value and respect within your child for herself. A person who feels respected and valued, and who has an intrinsic sense of it will usually not lash out and be disrespectful towards others, because disrespect is often a defense mechanism or stems from a sense of no control.