International Baby Lost Mama Day

United in grief, we find love and strength

International Babylost Mother's Day

May 2, 2010

It was Thanksgiving morning, 1994, that I woke up to the voice of my Mother in our living room. I had thought it was my aunt at first--my mother wasn't supposed to be home. She and my father had gone to the hospital the night before as she was in labor with my first and only brother, Joshua. There were six of us girls already and though my parents hadn't "tried" to get pregnant with any of us nor were they ever dissapointed at not having had a boy before, we were all very, very excited to welcome a brother in particular.

When I walked into the living room and saw my parents sitting on our couch, I noticed that my mother had been crying and that she was holding a small blue hat in her hand. Joshua was born at 24 weeks--the same time that the sister right above him had been born. She had made it, though spent the first 5 months of her life in the NICU. Joshua was born sleeping into the arms of Jesus and never made it down the hall to the NICU. I was barely ten-years-old at that time.

Our Thanksgivings have never been the same. Later that day in 1994, we went to my Great Grandmother's house for dinner. My extended family was there and with the then eight of us in my immediate family, there wasn't really enough food for everyone since we hadn't planned on being there. No one knew what to say to us, so we endured well meaning fake smiles and laughter while we ate boxed stuffing off of sytrofoam plates. I don't remember anyone saying anything to me about my brother.

My parents chose not to let us see Joshua except through photographs. They came to regret this decision later, but had thought at the time that the discoloration of his skin wouldn't be a good way for us to remember him by. Instead, they wrapped him in a blanket, put a hat on his head, and my dad went to the store to buy a toy firetruck. To this day, my heart cringes at the thought of walking through a toy store to buy a firetruck for your only son who would never play with it...The firetruck was placed into the casket beside my brother.

The funeral was held a few days later and was only attended by a small amount of people. We sat up front with my parents and stared at the 2' long white box that looked more like a foam cooler than a baby casket. At the cemetary, we sang "Praise Him, Praise Him, all ye little children, God is love, God is love..." before saying goodbye. It was cold and windy, and the chairs were forest green.

There was no offering of foot prints or photos for my parents when Joshua was birthed. The hospital didn't have tiny blankets to wrap him in, nor any counseling services for "this sort of thing" to suggest. We are left with a shoebox containing a few photos, a blue hat, and a striped receiving blanket by which to remember my brother, and the term "stillborn" to describe the event by. People still don't know what to say when they ask us "you have EIGHT daughters and NO boys?!" and we kindly respond with "we have a brother, but he was stillborn."

A decade later, there is support for what we now call "babylost" parents. Beravement jewlery, grief support groups, and even post partum products specifically for the mothers of these sleeping babies are now available. In one week, there will be an international day of recognition for these women, known as "International Babylost Mama Day." As far as I can tell, this will be the first time this day is observed (to be held the first Sunday of May each year), and has been organized by a beautiful Babylost Mama from Australia who lost her only son in 2007. It is a way to honor these forgotten mothers and babies and will be held on May 2nd, one week before the traditionally observed "Mother's Day."

Do you want to get involved? If you have been affected by the loss of a baby and would be willing to share your story to support and encourage other parents, I'd love to publish your story on Life More Simply! Please email your stories to lifemoresimply at yahoo.com with the title "Babylost Mama Day" in the subject line. Your story will be subject to editing without notice for grammar, spelling, etc.. Tasteful photos are also welcome with each submission (if possible, please post them to an online photo hosting service such as PhotoBucket.com so that I don't have to download anything--just send me the links!). The deadline for me to receive these will be May 1st and I will begin publishing on or after May 2nd, continuing throughout the week depending on how many submissions I receive.

Other ways to get involved:
Contact me about products you know of that are specifically made for or can help babylost parents and siblings.

Join the International Babylost Mama Facebook page.

Check out the International Babylost Mama website at http://internationalbabylostmothersday.blogspot.com/.

Splaff Flopps Review

Question: what does a tire, a bike tube, and a shoe knife all have in common? Answer: flip flops. Yes, that's what I said. Flip flops and end tables, mirrors, sandals, belts, wallets, and bags, to be exact. Splaff Flopps is a company based in Baja, California that's been around since 1997. They were birthed out of the desire to own a pair of flip flops that were durable, comfortable, good for wet feet, and made from recycled materials.

According to the guys at Splaff, their sandal "soles are made with recycled car tires, the straps are made with used bicycle inner tubes, the footbed covering and strap linings are made with hemp fabric, and the mid sole is made with regupol (a cushioned material made from used tires which have been chipped and pressed into mats). Splaff Flopps are produced in a 100% waste free process in which all left over materials are either re-used or recycled." Can it get any better than that?! Not only is the process ultra cool, but the Splaff artist-creators garuntee their sandals for six months and swear that they're super comfy and especially great for feet that often get wet. One of the things I like the best about their footwear, though, is that the soles are orderless, slip-restistant, and waterproof. These would be awesome for my husband (and myself) to run around in during the summer...and they wouldn't leave behind an odor like our Chaco's do!

I didn't get to test any of their products, so this is a review entirely based on their website. Should I ever be a person of a pleasant income, though, I would love to adorn my feet and my husbands feet with these sandals. Aside from the footwear, my favorite product is the messenger bag they make. I love messenger bags.

Since these are sandals designed for the outdoors, head over to the Splaff website and then leave a comment on my post here. If you do, you can have an extra entry into my Pro-Tech-Skin giveaway since that's great for anyone involved in outdoor things too! Just leave a message on that post telling me that you commented on the Splaff review.

Pro-Tech-Skin Review and Giveaway

My husband, Ron, works with his hands a lot. He's either doing carpentry or artwork (you can check out a sample of the artwork at http://eastfineart.com/), so he's constantly dirty-ing, scraping, and drying out his hands. When Atsko sent me a jar of their Pro-Tech-Skin to review, he was thrilled! The product is made entirely from inert waxes that work to provide a natural barrier so that your skins own oils and moisture will be protected, resulting in healthier, faster healing skin. A great alternative to lotion, a little goes a long way and stays on your hands for a long time.

Since there are no additives, this is a great product for people prone to allergies and skin irritations. Eczema, lupus, and UV-sensitive sufferers will especially appreciate this product since it is free of chemicals, water, clay, and other fillers. With no added scents (though you may smell the faint memory of honey from the beeswax), it's also great for people who are sensitive to scents or who work in environments where scents aren't appropriate.

One really only needs a little bit to be rubbed into the hands after washing and drying. At first, it made my hands feel slightly greasy, but nothing rubbed off anywhere and the feeling soon dissipated. Working as a paramedic on the weekend and in human services during the week, I am constantly washing my hands and using hand sanitizer. Not that Pro-Tech-Skin protects you from germs, per say, but with that extra protective barrier, your skin is stronger and thus more resistant to small lesions that are common to people who wash their hands a lot (what do you think dry skin is?). This is especially nice for anyone having to endure harsh elements outside, deal with chemicals or drying agents, and also just as a general protection and nourisher for skin everywhere!

This product is very affordable at only $7.30 per jar and should provide about 73.5 applications to the average pair of hands. I'd say that's pretty good even for a tightwad like myself! The guys over at Atsko also recommended it to me for use on baby bottoms to protect from rashes. I haven't used it for that yet, but I imagine that it would be very compatible with cloth diapers since it doesn't contain any of the ingredients that commonly stain and stick to fleece. I am fond enough of this product that I'm actually sitting at work right now wishing I had the jar with me, because as I write, I realize how thirsty my hands are for it!

If you care about your hands or anyone else's, get a jar of Pro-Tech-Skin. Really, it's an investment worth more than the money. Want to try before you buy? Call Atsko at 800-845-2728 and ask for a free sample (be sure to tell them that you came from Life More Simply's blog!). Not only is Atsko generously giving out samples, though, they're also giving a full sized jar to one of my readers! Visit their website at http://www.atsko.com/ and let me know about another product they have that you'd be interested in trying. Be sure to leave me your email address in the comment! Contest ends Sunday, June 21 at 11:59 EST and is only open to US mailing addresses.

Earn additional entries (after you've done the above) by:

- Calling Atsko for a free sample and telling them you found them through my blog (2 additional entries)

- Sporting my button on your blog (4 additional entries...leave four comments!)

- Blogging about this contest with a link (2 additional entries)

- Sending an email about this contest or my blog to 3 friends, CC'd to LifeMoreSimply(@)yahoo.com

- If you already earned an extra entry from this post, let me know!

Amabella Chocolats Review and Giveaway

One of my husband's first loves is chocolate. I don't know who came up with the idea that chocolate is only a comforting, craved after thing for women, because he would probably spend all day eating it if he could--and he's definitely a manly man. When I told him that Amabella Chocolats was sending me some sample truffles, he was elated! Chocolate is always first on my list of gift items, and this Father's Day is no different.

Amabella Chocolats sent me three hand dipped chocolate truffles to try. The outer coating of each one was a sweet and delicate dark chocolate, and the inside was a creamy, smooth, cream filling flavored with certified organic flavor oils. You can choose between milk or dark chocolate for the truffle's shell, and between eight different flavors for the creamy filling. They also offer vegan chocolate squares that come in any of the flavors and are decorated by hand painting.

We (my husband and I, since he would have a fit if he wasn't in on the testing of this!) found all of the flavors to be quite delicious. Amabella Chocolats sent their signature vanilla, rose, and chai truffles to be tasted. The vanilla is a delicate flavor and would be great for the person who wants things to be not too sweet or overpowering. A stronger flavor, the chai one really stood out as one that you'll only need one truffle to be satisfied by. I'm a big chai fan and it did pass my taste buds. I think a combination vanilla-chai would be just wonderful, and Amabella Chocolats will do custom orders! The rose truffle surprised me by being light and quite pleasant. I was expecting it to taste a little bit like potpouri, but it was actually very soothing and relaxing. It would be a great match with tea or lemonade (does anyone feel a belated Mother's Day gift coming on?).

The packaging for the truffles is very pretty and would work just as well for a man as a woman. Tied with a sage green ribbon, I had to admire it before opening the box! I am a little bit jealous of the person who perfected bow tying for these packages--mine never come out this great. Shipped by USPS, the truffles did arrive later than Amabella Chocolats anticipated. Days late, in fact. Unfortunately, this did affect the product a little bit. The truffle's outer shells seemed to have been affected by the temperature changes in transition and had gotten a little chalky, as well as breaking in a few spots on two of the three truffles. The inside was unaffected, though, and still tasted great with a smooth consistancy. Amabella Chocolats is currently switching the shipping and packing options, though, so I'm told this shouldn't be a problem ever again!

Order a package of truffles or choclate soon. They are all handmade, so you'll want to make sure your order will be perfected and shipped in time for Father's Day. They're priced reasonably at $10.00 a box (five pieces truffles, squares, or a combination). Remember, you aren't going to need a lot of these to be satisfied!

Amabella Chocolats has offered to give one of my reader's a 1/4 lb. box of truffles (five truffles) in the flavor of his or her choosing! To gain an entry, you need to visit their website at http://amabellachocolats.etsy.com/ and tell me what flavor(s) you like the most. Be sure to leave your email address in your comment!

Gain extra entries by doing the following:

* Grab my button (2 additional entries)

* Blog about this contest with a link

* Email 3 friends about this contest

* Fav me on Technorati

* If you already did something from this post

* Place an order with Ambella Chocolats (3 additional entries)

Come back and tell me what you did (a separate entry for each thing) with your email address!

This contest will be ending on Father's Day, June 21 at 11:59 PM, EST.

Father's Day Event

Let's face it: Mommies aren't created without a Daddy being created, too. Both of our existences are dependent upon each other, for better or for worse. I love being a mama. It is the most joyous, exhilarating, and interesting thing that's ever come upon me. Thankfully, my baby-daddy is in the picture and loves ever minute of it, too. This coming Father's day will be the first one when Ron can actually hold his beautiful 7-month-old daughter in his arms (as she attempts to pinch, poke, pull, and climb off of him). In honor of this event, and for daddies everywhere, we will be highlighting cool products for dad as well as hosting giveaways! Some of the things to look forward to between now and Father's Day:

-Outdoor gear

-Chocolate

-Office supplies

-Beer

-and more!

Check back often (maybe even later today, hint, hint) to get some great ideas on Father's Day gifts, learn about new things, and enter to win some pretty neat prizes.