Love Exuberantly

This is what I think...

You should hold your babies more, and never stop kissing them and telling them that you love them. You shouldn't be afraid to rock them to sleep, to let them get messy, or to let them snuggle you in the morning before you get out of bed. It doesn't matter if your floor isn't always spotless or the clean laundry always folded. It does matter that your children know they are loved unconditionally with an agape love. It does matter that you touch them and hold them and giggle with them and smile at them. Remember that the purest form of you is who you are when you're with your children. Let them know that they are the best thing in the whole wide world. Love those children, and make sure they know it. Don't ever hold back; love exuberantly.

This is what I think...

You should spend more time with that person who you are bound to. Whether it's a best friend, a girl friend, or a husband, be with them. You don't know when an accident will happen, cancer will strike, or something unforeseen takes them from you. Cherish your time. Love them. Stay up late talking, watching funny movies, and listening to the rain. Don't be afraid to experience everything possible that life offers with that person. Take every opportunity to love on that person, to fix every problem that hinders your relationship, and to serve that person with bounding joy. Learn to love better, and practice it. Do not take them for granted or take lightly the memories you have the opportunity to create together. Hold on to that person, the one that you can't live without, or at least that you don't ever, ever, ever want to live without. Love that person, and make sure they know it. Don't hold back; love exuberantly.

This is what I think...

I don't know what you felt when you got that phone call, and I won't pretend that I felt your fear. I do know, though, that I will hold your unconscious baby, sing to him, and love him for you when you can't do it yourself. I will do everything that is absolutely possible to give life to your baby, no matter what it costs me in the process. I will always be sure that I know what I'm doing, that everything is ready, and that your child comes first when my scanner goes off and I step into that ambulance. You don't need to fear, because when I get there, he becomes my baby too, and there is nothing stronger than a mama's heart. Know that if anything ever happens; if I can't get our baby to the place where he should be, or if things go wrong and something happens, I will be sobbing too. You may not see it, but I am breaking inside, too.

I won't pretend that I understand what it must be like to see your  unresponsive husband lying on a backboard with blood pooling everywhere. I do know though, that I feel part of your pain when I want him to wake up and he doesn't. When I know that he may never open his eyes again. When I know that you are standing there watching him die while I try to give him life. It's not easy as I gently tell you to hold his hand and kiss him, to talk to him and reassure him. What I am really saying is that you need to tell him goodbye and hold on to him for these minutes that he is still here for. Know that I am doing everything I can, though. Part of a team, I am still watching everyone and everything. I will speak up on his behalf, and I will make sure he is treated correctly. I will talk to him by name as I push oxygen into his lungs, and I will be ready to do everything possible to get him home. But if that doesn't happen, know that I am standing behind you, and that I wanted him to live, too.

This is what I think.
Seize every opportunity possible to love exuberantly. Don't wait for tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come.

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Originally posted at http://OctobersHeart.blogspot.com. 

If you aren't already following my blog there, then head on over! 

Leslie's Angel Baby Story

Guest blog article by Leslie for International Babylost Mama Day, which is being honored at Life More Simply all week long.

My name is Leslie and this is the story of my angel baby.

In June of 2008 we found out we were expecting our third baby. Although it was an unplanned pregnancy, we were thrilled at expanding our little family. I called the doctor that very day to set up my first appointment for 8 weeks. My first two pregnancies had been relatively normal so I wasn't incredibly nervous for this pregnancy. When I was 6 weeks pregnant I woke up to some cramping. I tried to take it easy and rest, but that was difficult with my other two young children. At around 11 o-clock that morning I felt a sudden gush and the cramps intensified. I went to the restroom and discovered I was bleeding heavily. I tried to keep myself calm as I called the doctor and was told to come to the office immediately. I made arrangements for my other children and called my husband at work. He drove me to the doctor's office where I had blood tests and an ultrasound.

During the ultrasound the doctor found the small gestational sac. I had never had an ultrasound this early in the pregnancy so I wasn't sure what I was supposed to see. The doctor pointed out that the sac was a very abnormal shape and underdeveloped even for 6 weeks and that I was definitely miscarrying. I was sent home with instructions to come back in three days for more blood work to be sure my hormone levels were returning to normal. That was it. I went home, heartbroken, and held my then 9-month-old son and cried for several hours.

The following day I woke up with terrible morning sickness. I was very emotional and cried for several hours a day for the next couple of days. I was confused, though, as my morning sickness was increasing each day. On the third day I returned for more blood work and that evening my doctor called to tell me that my hormone levels were doubling still which meant I was still pregnant. She was baffled because of the abnormal sac from the ultrasound. We reviewed the ultrasounds and discovered that the abnormal sac was only 1 of 2 embryos that were growing. I had lost the twin. I was overjoyed that my pregnancy would continue, but I was still devastated that the other baby was gone. I went through many ups and downs over the next 33 weeks. I spent 10 long weeks on bed rest trying to hold on to the remaining baby.

The most difficult part of the loss was that it was pushed aside as if it hadn't happened. I ended up with one healthy baby in the end of all of it so nobody considered this a loss. I received comments such as "at least you still have a baby, it could be worse" or "that doesn't really count as a miscarriage because you still have a baby." It was painful as I grieved completely alone. I felt that I couldn't show any emotion about the loss of my baby or even discuss any pain I felt because maybe it really didn't "count" as a loss. Every baby that is lost instills a level of grief that only a babylost mama can understand. Maybe the baby that I now hold in my arms was a cushion to the grief that I felt, but she does not replace her sibling in my heart. My grief does not overpower my joy, but the joy cannot completely mask the grief either.

When Your Birth Doesn't Go According to Plan

When I found out my husband and I were going to have a baby, I got ready! I sought what I felt would be the best prenatal care with an excellent midwife, read a small library of books, prepared the nursery, took amazing care of myself, ate well, rested, did yoga, practiced hypnobirthing… I was prepared for my baby, so prepared. I was not prepared, however, for the way I would feel after the birth. The way I would feel when everything went “wrong”. I believed to the very core of my being that everything I worked for would happen just the way I envisioned it simply because I believed it. It didn’t.

I did not expect to reach 43 weeks of pregnancy and have a hospital induction. I did not expect the have a scarred cervix that would refuse to dilate for the better part of three days. Even after 43 weeks of pregnancy I did not expect a 9 lb, 6 oz baby or cephalopelvic disproportion (CPD)(http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/cephalopelvicdisproportion.html) or a c-section. I was so convinced I would be having a med-free natural water birth that I only skimmed those other sections in my pregnancy books. I did not expect my perfect pregnancy to have such a dramatic climax. I believed wholeheartedly that all the things I worked so hard for would come to fruition. I mean, I had a plan, a birth plan!

As it turns out, it's hard to plan nature. My cervix did eventually dilate to a full 10 cm and I pushed. I pushed for hours. I pushed until I lost consciousness, only to wake up with the next contraction and push again. When the decision for a c-section was finally made, I knew in my heart, it was time. The doctor that performed our surgical birth informed me that I had a true case of CPD, and I never would have birthed my son naturally. Yet, through all this, my boy never faltered. His heart rate remained steady, his breathing was excellent, and his apgar score was perfect.

And then, we amended our "plan". I was immediately allowed to touch and kiss my baby. He went directly to my husband who cared for him while I was being stitched up. Our baby was never without one of his parents. My husband brought him to me as soon as I was out of the operating room, before I even made it to our hospital room, where we continued with rooming-in as planned.

When we returned home, I struggled with a lot of negative feelings about our birth and the disappointment I felt at having "failed". We also had breastfeeding complications that only compounded the feeling of failure. Then, I started reaching out. I sought support and began to heal, but simply being with my son and keeping him close has had the most healing effect of all.

If your birth does not go according to "plan", do not despair, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with compassion. Natural parenting is not an "all or nothing" concept. The "plan" can be amended.

A big thanks to Carrie L McClain from Oh, Baby O! for writing this guest blog! Have an article you think would be interesting to Life More Simply's readers? Email it to lifemoresimply @ yahoo.com with the subject of "Guest Blog".

Check out Carrie's Blog to read more about her mothering, crafting, baking, and homemaking pursuits: http://ohbabyo.wordpress.com/

Remedies for Pregnancy Related Leg Cramps

The author of Caching Family Blog recently wrote the post below and I thought it was so interesting that I had to share it with you in the form of a guest post. Watch for more guest posts by this author, and be sure to check out her original post here. Want to see your guest blog appear on Life More Simply's Blog? Email your submissions to LifeMoreSimply(@)yahoo.com!

As we entered week 19 I got my normal pregnancy update and this time it focused on leg cramps. My first thoughts were, "I got them about a week ago, I didn't realize they went along with the baby!" Although they do not know for sure what causes these leg cramps, there are several theories:

• fatigue from carrying around extra weight
• blood vessels in the legs being compressed
• excess of phosphorus or shortage of calcium or magnesium in your diet
• dehydration
• hormones!!!!

At first, I didn't think too much of it as I have had them in the past. I made sure to drink a lot of water and bought bananas; I had always been told leg cramps were caused by a lack of potassium. After one night of my 'solution' the cramps didn't come back. A few weeks later I had them again but I also realized that I had run out of bananas so I went back to my cure and didn't have them again.

Here are some other suggestions that I found online:

• straighten your leg and flex your ankle toward your nose (I usually forget which way I should flex and go the wrong way causing even more pain)
• stretch your legs before going to bed
• put your legs up as often as you can during the day
• avoid standing or sitting with your legs crossed for long periods of time
• stand on a cold surface
• drink enough during the day
• exercise each day
• gently massage your legs during the cramp
• take a warm bath before bedtime
• avoid getting too tired
• sleep on your left side

I was talking to a friend and she had also heard about putting a bar of soap under your bed sheet as a way to alleviate calf cramps. My first thought was "that sounds crazy!" but I did look the tip up since I was curious to know more.

Sure enough, most websites that talk about leg cramps suggested the bar of soap trick. I decided to keep this information the the back of my head as I just might need it one day. Go figure, 4 nights ago I had leg cramps again and I had been consistent with the bananas!! After 2 nights with no relief I decided to put a bar of soap under the fitted bed sheet (hey, if nothing else, the bed would at least smell clean!). I woke up the next morning and was amazed that I hadn't had a cramp! I tried it again last night and when I felt soreness, I would locate the bar of soap and lay my leg on it for immediate relief!

I am very amazed by all of this--who would think soap would take the serious cramp away?
Still curious, I looked up the reasons for soap relieving cramps, here is what I found: "Most leg cramp maladies can be associated with dehydration and depletion of potassium. Gator-ade has sodium chloride, which replenishes lost potassium, as well as rehydrates. Amazingly enough, most bar soaps also contain sodium chloride. During sleep, it is absorbed through the skin from the bar of soap."

So, I am here to tell you it works but I have found a difficulty with it. The bar of soap moves around under the sheets and I have to locate it as I need it. Also, one bar of soap isn't big enough for 2 legs! I have thought about cutting an ace bandage in 2 and wrapping a bar of soap on each leg; If I continue to have problems I just might!

What are some remedies that you've heard of?

**This post has been edited by the author of Life More Simply Blog. The original post can be found at http://CachingFamily.blogspot.com **

How to Lanolize Wool

Photo taken from http://www.povertyjane.etsy.com.

It can be difficult to know when you should lanolize wool and how to do it, so I've decided to share some great information on the topic by my knowledgable friend, PovertyJane. She has plenty of cloth diapering experience, having six children, and also lots of sewing knowledge from her eight years of sewing creations.

Squeeze ¼” to ½” of tube lanolin or a squeeze of liquid lanolin (found online or in health food shops) into a cup of hot water, in a jar with a lid. Add a few drops of wool wash, cap the jar, and shake vigorously to emulsify. Let the mixture cool slightly. Pour it over the item(s) that are soaking inside out in your sink or basin, aiming at the crotch and gussets. Squeeze the items a few times to distribute the lanolin mixture. Soak for 15 minutes or so, and then dry as directed above.

When using liquid lanolin, you may use warm water to emulsify. Solid lanolin such as Lansinoh is more effective than liquid lanolin or lanolin sprays. Start with ¼ inch and see if you need more. If you overdo the lanolin, the cover will feel greasy. That is actually ok if you don’t mind how that feels, and you wool will perform very well with the extra lanolin.Also, turning the wool inside out halfway through is a good idea. Laying flat on a sweater drying rack is great so they don't stretch out yet air can circulate.

How often is "periodically"? How often should I wash the wool covers or lanolize them? It varies a lot! I've heard some say they almost never wash their Aristocrat; others wash them every other week. It seems that washing once every 3-4 weeks or so is common. Some relanolize once a month, others relanolize at every washing. It's very personal. When the cover has a foul odor when it's dry, it’s time to wash it. Or when the dampness comes right through the cover, it’s time to lanolize (or possibly it’s time to add more cotton inside, such as double diapering or adding a doubler or two).

Wool is not waterproof. Just air out the wool. Do not expect wool to be waterproof like synthetics. But it is very breathable, which is cool and wonderful. It is the lanonlin on the wool that is water resistant, and the wool is actually absorbent. The wool is supposed to get damp when the cotton inside is sopping. That's ok! Just air it out and use it again.

Defining when washing or lanolizing is needed varies tremendously. Try putting some water on the cover from the sink. If the water soaks right in, then it’s time to lanolize the cover. If the water beads up a bit, it doesn’t need more lanolin, but you might need to use more cotton to get more absorbency. Do what works for you.



Guest Blog by PovertyJane.
Check out her personal blog at http://povertyjane-povertyjane.blogspot.com/ or her Etsy store at http://www.povertyjane.etsy.com/.

Caring for Wool Diaper Covers

Wool does require special care, but it's really not a big deal! Wool is a truly remarkable natural fiber, amazingly effective as a diaper cover because it can absorb 30% of its own weight before feeling damp. Its natural lanolin gives wool an antibacterial, moisture-resistant barrier, allowing circulation of air that allows urine to dissipate and distribute more effectively in the diaper.

You'll want to avoid putting a urine-soaked wool cover in the diaper pail. Even if it needs to be washed, let it dry out. Soaking in urine may leach out the color and cause bleeding onto your diapers. In addition, it could easily get tossed into regular diaper laundry, which is a disaster in most cases, resulting in stiff, hard, shrunken wool. Always be careful with vibrant or dark wool colors, especially red. Wash them separately and squeeze them dry with dark or old towels.

If it doesn't smell, your wool probably doesn't need washing. Adequately lanolized wool covers shouldn't need to be washed for about two to three weeks unless they feel damp after only a short time over a diaper or if they become soiled with feces.

Finally – time to wash! If the wrap is only urine-soaked, rinse it under cool running water to remove residues. Then soak it in lukewarm water with a touch of liquid lanolin and Dr. Bonner’s castile soap, Eucalan wool wash for about 10 minutes, and then agitate gently by hand. A word of warning: the less processed your wool is, the more it will smell like wet sheep when it's wet. This is natural and will not linger after the item, dries, especially if you use a deliciously scented wash. (*Don’t use Woolite or other commercial woolwashes because it will wash the lanolin right off and your covers will leak, and there is a potential for rashes with those more harsh products.)

Gently squeeze out – don’t wring! -- the excess water, then roll up the cover in a towel and step on it to get the bulk of the moisture out. Extreme changes in temperature as well as harsh agitation will mat the fibers together, resulting in felting and shrinking of your wool. Be very careful then and use extreme gentleness with handling wool. Lay it flat to dry or put in the dryer on gentle/cool. If the wool cover is hand knit, do not put it in the dryer unless manufacturer's directions say it is ok.

If the wrap is poopy, wash the poopy part by hand with lanolin and Dr. Bonner’s castile soap, baby shampoo or other wool wash bars or liquids, and then soak as directed above. Do not rub a wool wash bar directly on the woolen item; lather your hands and then apply that to the cover.

Guest blog by PovertyJane.

Visit her personal blog at http://povertyjane-povertyjane.blogspot.com/ or her Etsy store at http://www.povertyjane.etsy.com/