I hope to write about my husband's and my journey during February (the month of looooooooove, ya know), but there's something I need to post today. I realize you may not understand all of it yet, but bear with me anyway.
Dear Ron,
You are my favorite thing about 2011. Little did anyone around us realize, but a month ago we were about to get divorced. Everything had built up over the last almost-five-years, you weren't changing, and I was done with being treated that way. I had begged you and told you it was happening, but it took my heart leaving you for you to wake up and realize and admit what you had been doing and how damaging it was to our family.
I love that you are once again the man I fell in love with. Since our wedding, I haven't been married to the man I said "yes" to. I have missed him so very much but have done my crying in silence and just endured things because I'm good at that and can find a way to be happy anyway. I wish I had understood that sometimes love says "no" and makes that "no" happen, maybe keeping us less broken in the process.
Either way, my heart is coming back. The journey we will be taking during this year can give us a beautiful ending to our lives, and I am glad we are in it together. Our babies are blessed to have you as their daddy, and I am elated to now, FINALLY, be married to that man I said "yes" to six years and almost five months ago to.
Don't give up. I am falling back in love with you.
Love,
Rachel
"Can't Help Falling In Love" cover by Pearl Jam
Love it. Praying for you guys.
ReplyDeleteJosh and I have gone through a couple of seasons where we thought we were at the end. One night he accused me of cheating on him, and I, being stressed to the hilt over numerous things including being the sole bread-winner- which was the REASON I was working so many long hours, was cut deeply by the accusation and kicked him out. He wouldn't leave, but I slept on the floor in the kids' room that night. That seemed to be his wake-up call, and we haven't hit a crisis like that since. We've BOTH done a lot of changing, but changing *together* is what was key.
We bought the book "Marriage on the Rock," by Jimmy and Karen Evans. It was the best $30 we have spent our entire marriage. We both read it a chapter at a time (seperately, but at the same time), and talked about it. http://www.marriagetoday.org/site/PageServer?pagename=mtrl_home
A great marriage is one of the most wonderful things in the world. We are very fortunate that we've had no real struggles in our marriage, whether emotionally, spiritually or financially. It just gets better and we fall more in love every day, which is what I wish for you. :-)
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best and am looking forward to hearing your journey when you write about it in February. We are in a similar situation, though it is my husband who is falling out of love. I hope by the end of this year that he could write a letter like yours. I also am reading Marriage on the Rock, but my husband doesn't like to read, so it's just me.
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